STOP Overthinking and Ditch the Drama

Jade helps you cut through the noise, stop overthinking your workouts, and finally take action in your fitness journey. If you’ve ever fallen into the all-or-nothing mindset, felt stuck in analysis paralysis, or obsessed over doing it perfectly—this episode is your wake-up call.

Jade shares 6 practical and mindset-shifting strategies to help you simplify your training, stop the self-sabotage, and get moving with confidence

Transcript

 Hey, my loves welcome back to Fitness with Jade, the podcast where we talk all things fitness, self-growth, and how to stay grounded in your feminine energy while building mental and physical strength, becoming that girl. Today I wanna chat about something I know many of you struggled with and that I have a hundred percent battled with myself, and that is overthinking your training and of course, in life in general.

Okay. We've got some overthinking girlies up in here. Yeah, if you're stuck in your head. Spiraling. Should I do this? Should I wait? Is this enough? What if I don't do it perfectly? Yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Today we're gonna be unpacking it, and this episode is for you. And what we're gonna be talking about is why we get stuck in an all or nothing mindset.

How to simplify and just start something, perfectionism, and the trap of always needing to just get it right, being this perfect person that just does not exist. And most importantly, also letting go of fear. So detaching from outcomes and trusting and movement again. And then to do all this, you need to make it fun and set an intention.

So this is gonna be a pep talk mindset reset, and let's get into it. So I'll start with the all or nothing track. Apologies to my dog just came into the room. She has anxiety, so she's definitely an overthinker. I obviously like to put myself through stress and choose animals that are hard work, but uh, yeah, she's here so if you hear something in the background, I apologize.

But yeah, let's get on with it. So let's be real. Most of us don't struggle with motivation. We struggle with pressure, and this is the pressure to do everything perfectly. And when you're doing everything, you come up with this plan and you need to try and follow this plan. Exactly. Otherwise, what's the point?

But that's wrong. This is that all or nothing mindset, and it is literally the number one killer of momentum and fun fact is also a cognitive distortion, meaning that you are viewing something in an extreme with no room for shades of gray or alternate possibilities or outcomes. Black and white thinking is something that is hard to shake and can lead to negative thinking and emotions, and we don't want negative thoughts and emotions.

We wanna be growing happy, positive, all the good vibes. So these are irrational thoughts that you believe are the truth, and they're not. They're simply not. And they twist your perception, sabotage your motivation, and make training harder than it needs to be. And make things in general harder than they need to be.

If you're overthinking something and you literally think it's this way or nothing, you're going to be losing a lot of opportunity in more aspects of your life than just fitness. And this personally is something that I need to get better at. I'm very black or white. Uh, the gray, the gray doesn't come easily to me, so I need to implement these tips as well.

So it's not just you, you're not alone. You're not alone. So these black and white statements that you believe to be true, they're not facts. There's stories that your brain tells you when you're anxious, afraid, or you're stuck in this perfectionism rut, which I will get into later. And you gotta think of them as these little gremlins, like some gizmos whispering in your ear.

You are not fit enough to start if you can't train five days a week. What's the point? I messed up yesterday, so this week's ruined sound familiar? So here are some examples of cognitive distortions. And again, these are applicable to all walks and facets of life. So you have the all or nothing thinking.

If you can't do a full session, I won't do anything. And the reality is 10 minutes of movement is still better than nothing. Momentum over perfection. I. Do something, get your butt up and do something. If you can't fit in a full session, that's fine. Just still get off your ass and do something. 'cause you're that girl.

The next one is catastrophizing, such as I missed a week, everything is ruined, everything's falling apart, I'm gonna die. This is horrible. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Stop. You need to remember that you're always one choice away from getting back on track. So if you missed a week, you missed a day. It is only a problem if you continue to miss these weeks and miss these days.

Yeah, you just need to get back on track, get back into it, go back to the gym, go back to those walks that you were doing. If you start thinking that it's all for nothing and it's all over, it will be all over and you'll stop doing it. The worst will happen. You're gonna be manifesting the worst to happen.

So yeah, just think, oh, it's okay. I stuffed up. Let's just get back into it. Then the next cognitive distortion is, should statements. So I should be more motivated. I should be better at this. I should be able to push through. And what you need to do is just realize that this is shame that's disguised as discipline and to switch it to statements like, I'd like to do this, or it would feel good to do this.

Then the fourth one is mind reading and comparison. So they probably think I'm slow, they probably think I'm bad. Everyone else is more consistent. Everyone else is skinnier than me, and the reality is these people aren't thinking anything about you. Like they've, they're in their own head. They're too busy with their own thoughts to really think about you.

So if you're rocking up to that run club and you thinking, everyone's looking at me, blah, blah, blah, they're probably not, they don't have time. They have better things to do, and you need to have better things to do too. So these cognitive distortions, they're not discipline, it's fear masquerading as discipline.

It's fear of you not being good enough, fear of you falling short, fear of judgment, fear of not being chosen. And let me tell you something. This fear is costing you way more than a missed session ever. Could all for nothing, keeps you stuck. 'cause you're focused on doing it right and then you just don't do it at all.

So here's how to break out of it and start training. And again, this can be applied to any facets of life. Break out of this negative thought pattern. Start doing what you wanna do, start going out and seeing those friends. Start that new business. Start whatever you wanna start and this is how you do it.

And it's gonna sound really simple because it is, but we'll go through it. And it's basically just naming the thought for what it is. And this sounds really easy to do, but in the moment I understand that it isn't because I've been in these moments and my brain just goes to mush. So you need to name the thought, pause and go, is this a fact or a feeling?

And I do also know that I would, I would do this in my head about, is this a factor of a feeling? And my brain would be like, it's a fact, J, it's a fact. When. It's not, it's literally a feeling. So make sure you identify that and really pause and think about it. And then the next thing to do is to think, is this helpful?

Is it a helpful story or am I an on an old loop? So name the distortion being like, Hey, it's my all or nothing mindset again. And then realize that you are going back into this spiral and you need to just chill out and get your butt back in line and just continue on with your day. And like I said, I know it's easier said than done, but you got this.

So now we're all over our cognitive distortions. We need to start and to do this, you need to simplify everything. Simplify it. I feel like that's a big block in terms of people getting up and moving their bodies. They make it way more complicated than it needs to be. So let's simplify this whole thing.

Training is not deep. I know this podcast is kind of making it feel like it is deep because the results can impact you in like incredible ways, but the training itself is not. Deep. You don't need to do a 12 week periodized plan with like 14 variables tracked before you're even allowed to move your body.

It's too much. It's too much. You don't want that. I don't want that. It's hard work and we don't wanna be hard work. We wanna be feminine in our flow. We wanna just show up and get things done, move that body. And to do that, you need to make one decision. I am gonna show up today. And that's it. Don't overthink it because when you stop obsessing over the details and just start moving, you create this momentum.

And it's momentum, which brings results, not perfection. Momentum brings consistency. It's the micro habits. So what does simplifying actually look like? Choose one thing to focus on each week, not 10, just one. Ditch the pressure to maximize every session. It is okay to just move. We are not pro athletes and if you are a pro athlete, there are still times.

Well, you do a session and you are just not in the right mind frame, and you just go there and just go through the motions instead of maximizing it. It happens to everybody. It does, and it's nothing to feel guilty about and give yourself permission to do less and then actually be proud of it. I was meant to go for a run.

Here's an example. I was meant to go for a run and I was just not in the right mind frame. I was running out of time 'cause I had my child to pick up. Just too much going on. So instead of going for a run, I decided to go for a walk and have my daughter ride next to me on the Bush bike instead. Also walk the dog, you know, killed three birds with one stone.

Really. So there are times where you need to be flexible and be realistic instead of going to the extreme. And then when you are naturally following through with the plan that you wanted to do in terms of, for me, it was the run. Don't beat yourself up over it. So how to simplify and start. So ask yourself, what's the next doable move?

So forget the hour session. So go through the little micro steps within the hour. That you need to do instead of focusing on the hour as a whole. Then set a vibe, not a strict plan. And what I mean by that is do you wanna feel strong? Do you want the vibe of being a Pilates princess? So do that very, very easy.

And also pick one type of movement when you're beginning, when you've got too many options, such as weights, running yoga group classes. Just pick one and you don't need to pick it forever, just for now. And ask yourself, what type of movement feels doable or exciting this week? And it could be as simple as, yeah, walking with a podcast or just a low pressure gym session.

Just keep it easy and then you can build up. 'cause you can't just be doing the same thing all the time and not actually pushing yourself because then you're not growing. But to start off with, to get you moving, this is what you need to do. So, yeah, keeping it super simple, starting small, like I said, with all the lists of above.

And then also simple things such as allocating only a few days per week to get this done. So you might just start off saying, Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays are the days that I'll be moving my body. Keep it to simple movements. Can be like a 20 minute, easy run one day, a walk or another day, and then a yoga flow on another day.

And then build it up. Make the sessions more complex, make them harder. Go from doing an easy run on the Monday to an interval run on the Monday, change it up. Then once you've done all this prep, like it's already your normal trick your brain into thinking this is normal for you. And to do this, it's simple things like packing your gym bag the night before.

Prepping your lunch the night before, making sure you've, you know, organized it, put it in your calendar the night before, and then your brain's like, oh no, this is kind of normal. This is, this is, this is okay. And then when you wake up, it's all ready to go. You can't really back out of it because you've got all your stuff there ready.

You just pick it up, you get going and you get it done. Then when you're actually moving your body, make sure you're tracking your feelings over your stats. So take note of how you feel before, during, and after your training. And like I said, don't make anything forever. Focus on two weeks at a time because the brain will freak out over this forever concept.

So if you don't make it a lifetime plan, it makes it easier to hit those micro goals and then also celebrate your efforts. So celebrate this messy middle because it will be messy. There are gonna be ups and downs. There'll be peaks and troughs. And this is where all the magic happens, and it builds your consistency and it also makes it fun when you're choosing to grow.

The next thing to do to stop overthinking your training is to set your intention. And this is very similar to when people wake up in the morning and they journal and they set their intentions for the day and do their gratitude, all of that jazz. So channel that when you're doing this. So before you lace up your shoes and hit start on your workout, or even leave to do your workout, pause and ask yourself, why am I training today?

What is this energy that I want to move with? What's the vibe? What do I feel like before this session? And what do I want to feel like after this session? And this is intention. So because if you don't set your intention, you'll automatically default to pressure, to proving, to chasing. And we do not, chase said this a million times.

We do not chase. So when you set an intention, even a simple one, like I wanna feel proud, or I'm here to build trust within myself, it turns this training into something more sacred, into more of a ritual. And this intention then will anchor you and make the movement that you're doing more mindful. And then when your movement's more mindful, your progress becomes more sustainable.

And it reminds you that you're not just building a body, you are building a relationship within yourself. This is the time to tune in, to listen to what your body is asking for and not what your ego is shouting about. So before your next session, make sure you pause, breathe, set your intention and move from that space.

And that's when training becomes healing and it makes you grow, and that's when you become powerful. After setting your intention, the real challenge is letting go of fear detaching and trusting the movement. So letting go of the need for control, letting go for the need of certainty. Letting go of the need for guarantee, because the truth is you can't think your way into confidence.

You've gotta show yourself that you can do it, and you show yourself through consistency. So movement I really think is medicine. I feel like it is the main way that you can glow up, obviously, 'cause I've used that as an episode title, and I feel like it is your anchor and not a punishment. It is a way to get yourself through tough times and a way to stay consistent when times are mellow and just quite boring.

So detached from an outcome and connect to feeling. So instead of training to look a certain way, trained to feel you can wanna feel powerful, grounded, clearheaded, proud, and get into this emotion, not an ego end goal. So detachment just simply equals separating your identity and worth from the outcome of training.

And a great example of a pro athlete who detaches and embraces her feminine is Aussie surfer Stephanie Gilmore. She usually surfs with this ease and rhythm, and her style is described as artful and not robotic. And she's actually been quoted saying. Style is the answer to everything. It's the difference between a champion and a legend, and she just kind of shows that you can glide your way through.

You don't have to be this maniac to win. And she also detaches from outcomes because she's lost world titles and then has come back stronger. She doesn't spiral when she fails and she trusts the process and stays aligned with. Her joy of surfing, not the obsession or control. She's even stated surfing's about rhythm and connection, and you can't force that.

So the lesson you can take from Stephanie is to let go of clinging to result and trust that showing up with a presence, a vibe, creates your edge. So how will detachment help you? And it will lower your stakes. So if every workout feels like a test of your worth, it's gonna delay you starting or stop you from doing it.

So when you detach from needing to prove something, it becomes, I'm not here to be perfect. I'm here to move, and that is enough. Then it interrupts the all or nothing thinking that we discussed earlier. So when you are detached, you think any movement is a win. It doesn't have to look a certain way or doesn't have to feel a certain way to count.

However, when you're attached, you think, if I can't go all in, it's not worth doing. So you need to stop chasing this perfect plan like we've discussed, and start chasing what's possible. Attachment to results equals a fear of failing. A fear of failing equals procrastination, but detachment allows you to think like this.

If I don't smash the session, that's okay. It still matters and it still counts. And my body and mind benefit from showing up, not crushing it all the time. You move you because you love yourself, not because you're trying to earn love. That is the difference. That is detachment. I. It also helps you build identity without ego.

So when you detach, training becomes a part of your lifestyle, not your label. You don't have to call yourself a runner or a gym girl. Just because you move doesn't mean you have to have a label. You do it to feel good, empowered. And aligned and attachment makes room for consistency 'cause it's not tied to your mood or self-esteem.

And it also allows you to actually enjoy the process. So instead of being attached to the outcome, which would be weight loss, muscle tone, pace, appearance, it'll make you enjoy training less when you focus on the process and how it's making you feel. That is the way to win. Okay, so we've discussed a lot of things already, but one of the things I did mention earlier is having the need to be perfect.

So let's talk about perfectionism. And I know there's a lot of women and men out there, they get trapped 'cause they wanna be flawless. They wanna be this perfect, picturesque version of the identity that they're trying to be. And to get things done, you wanna feel ready and you want to be the best at it.

But the harsh truth is perfectionism isn't actually about high standards, it's about low self worth. You hate yourself, I'm sorry to say, but you do. And it's rooted in the belief that unless it's perfect, you are not enough and you are, that's why you're here. That's why you're growing. That's why you're trying to become that girl.

You don't need to prove anything through your training. You just need to do it. You don't need to earn rest, and you don't need to think. You need to be good enough to take up space. Just take up that space. Just do it. Like go the story that you need to do it, to write or do it hard, or do it whatever. Just do it the way that you wanna do it.

Be in your flow. Be your feminine. Yeah. This is about you glowing up. This is about you growing. This is about you being the best version of yourself for your mental health, for your physical health, for everything, for everything. It literally will help you in all aspects of life. If you have children, your kids will see you exercising.

They will follow suit. There are so many positives to this, and they all just come from you simply moving your body. Nothing else. And I know that like I also sometimes can get caught up in this, like sometimes when I run, obviously because I feel myself, my Instagram, I've got like some running footage and I'll be running.

And when you run your face, you know, gravity does its thing, doesn't it? And your face kind of bounces up and down and sometimes you look like it's melting off. So sometimes I'll be watching that and being like, oh my God. Like what is happening? But then I remember like, oh, look like that happens to everyone.

Everyone gets droopy face when they run. But it's just funny 'cause your brain starts to think, oh, there's something wrong with me. When literally it is natural, it is gravity. You are running, you're bouncing. It's gonna happen. So just get rid of that. Need to be perfect. Get rid of it. Everyone looks, get crap sometimes, you know, everyone has good, the bad days, everyone feels terrible.

Everyone goes to times where their performance is poor. It happens to everyone. And that's because we are human and we are not. Perfect. So how do you stop needing to be perfect? Do all the Affirm mentioned steps that I've mentioned throughout this podcast? Then identify your personal triggers. Yes, we are going into triggers.

Everyone is triggered these days, but it's true because people are just. Fucked up like we've got, I feel like our generation and the generation of all generations, like we just haven't dealt with our emotional baggage. So yeah, identify your personal triggers. Do you have a fear of judgment or criticism?

Do you link achievement to self-worth? Cough, cough, detach. Instead, social media comparisons, control as a coping mechanism, figure it out through journaling, therapy, self-growth, and then nip it in the bud. Before it becomes a huge issue before it impacts you. Then also remember, perfection isn't real. I talk about this in my healing.

The need to prove yourself episode, and actually that episode will help you with a lot of these, uh, especially the needing to be perfect issues. So if you haven't go, I listened to that obviously after this one, but perfection is not real. Like people that you see on the internet that you think are perfect, they are not.

They are not like, even if it's the most beautiful person in the world, they could be like incredibly mentally unstable. Like there's just so many different layers. Perfect. Doesn't exist. And thank God that it doesn't, because we'd all be walking around like robots and we just wouldn't be human anymore.

Imperfection is beauty. Remember that. Then once you've realized that being perfect isn't a thing, choose a growth mindset. And a growth mindset means believing you can improve through effort, feedback, and practice that who you are today is not who you are. Stuck being forever. You can change. Everyone can change.

Life is fluid. You are feminine. You move with fluidity. But I know and I understand certain situations, your old programming can trigger a fixed mindset. You get these thoughts such as, I suck at this. I'm not cut out for it. If I was meant to be good, it'd be easy by now. So let's go over and call out these triggers and let's shift them into a growth mindset.

Trigger one, failing or struggling at something. So you fixed mindset reaction. This proves that I'm not good enough. I'm not athletic, smart, disciplined enough. Your growth mindset shift. Struggle is where strength is built. This is data, not a definition of me. Ask yourself, what is this teaching me? It's good stuff.

Yeah, good stuff. Trigger two. Seeing someone better than you. And I used to think this a little bit. About my partner, and that was why our dynamic was so horrendous. I feel like I put him on this pedestal. Don't ever, ever, ever do that to a person. Make sure that you're on equal playing field. Everyone is equal.

Okay? Don't even put someone on a pedestal. 'cause especially in a relationship, it's gonna fuck up your relationship. You don't want that. Okay? So fixed mindset reaction. I'll never be like that. They're just naturally gifted. They're better than me. Growth mindset shift. That's proof of what's possible. They started somewhere too and they kept going, what can I learn from them?

Don't put people on pedestals. Dangerous game. Then we have the trigger three, needing to be the best. So fix mindset reaction is, if I can't win, why try, or, I'm embarrassed to be seen. Learning your growth mindset shift. I don't need to be the best. I need to stay in the game or beginners become masters through reps and ask what's more important?

Impressing or improving, figure it out. It's obviously impressing. Yeah, no, I'm joking. I'm joking. And then trigger four is old patterns of shame or perfectionism. Fixed mindset. I always mess things up. There's something wrong with me. Growth mindset shift. I'm unlearning. That takes time. Growth is messy.

That means it's real. Ask what? Part of me needs more support, not more punishment. We are not into B-D-M-S-M, and if you are, just don't do it outside of the bedroom, okay? Keep it in the bedroom and keep your training for something that's not that. Okay. Trigger five. Progress feels too slow. Snail pace, fixed mindset reaction.

This isn't working. I should be further along by now. Growth mindset shift. Consistency, compounds. Progress isn't always visible, but it's happening. Ask what has improved that I'm not giving myself credit for? What have I done? That's amazing. Figure it out. Write it down. 'cause you know you were that girl.

And I could go on with my, um, my triggers, but I feel like that's, it's a good little roundup of things you would say to yourself and how to kind of fix 'em. But yeah, if you didn't get all that rewind, write them down. 'cause we've all been there, we've all had thoughts like that. And it's about changing it, making sure your mind isn't stuck in these bad, awful patterns.

We don't want that. We wanna grow. And the last part about overthinking or stopping to overthink your training. This is that. This is the best part is just to make it fun again. You want it to be fun. Don't be. Slogging through something that you absolutely hate. Remember, most people aren't professional athletes.

You are doing it between your nine to five. You are doing it between being a mother, you are doing it between being a grandparent. You are just doing it to be better. Okay? You're doing it to move to, you're doing it to reap the benefits. If you are not a professional athlete, you need to make it fun. And if you're, if you are a professional athlete, you still kind of need to make it fun.

Like if you are doing something and you absolutely hate it, you're in the wrong job. You are doing the wrong thing, so. Let's be real. Many of us have turned this training into this heavy, serious thing, like a punishment, a job. And I'm very much guilty of doing that. 'cause my training kind of has merged into my job in a way.

It's, um, definitely opened doors, uh, which I'm very grateful for. Excellent. And I love doing it. But then sometimes I'm like, oh god, like the pressure, because it does feel like a job. But I've gotta remember, I actually do like doing this, like at the moment, my triathlon training, I am. I'm kind of done, like I will be moving on to something different.

I'll be focusing more on high rocks and marathons after this, but I literally have under three weeks until my race, so I know that I've just gotta get through this two and a half weeks, and then obviously the race, and then it'll be over with and I can move on to something new. So I'm not punishing myself if I knew, let's just say I race in six months time.

If I was feeling this way now and I'd been that burnt out, I would probably be rescheduling my race or canceling it and moving on to something new because I'm not. A professional triathlete. I'm an amateur athlete and I use my sport and my training to do my user generated content, my brand deals, my influencer content, and then also to do this podcast too.

So for me, training isn't about, I. Only doing triathlon. It's about testing out different things that I enjoy and using movement to glow up using movement to become that girl. And so if I was getting to a point where I just did not wanna do it, it was no longer fun, which I am kind of getting to now, and there was a long timeframe for me to get it done, I would probably move on to something else because I want it to be fun.

It needs to be fun. But having said that, I know my race in Cairns is gonna be so much fun. So I am looking forward to that. I'm just gonna get over this two and a half weeks and then I can move on to hi Rock's training, which I'm super excited about. So what you need to do to make your training fun?

'cause you're obviously in the same boat as me. Some of you might be. Some of you might be, but most of you will not be. What can I actually look forward to? Because somewhere on on the line, people have forgotten that movement is supposed to feel good. It's meant to energize you, uplift you, and then connect you to your body.

And also connect it to your mind. Make sure you're not having a minty bee. Yeah, we don't want that. Like I said, you don't have to grind every session. You don't need to be dripping in sweat for it to count. You can laugh, you can dance. Do that Zumba class, even though like I don't think like. Like Zumba's.

Okay, but you're not, anyway, I won't get into that, but do whatever you want. Do whatever you wanna do. Make a playlist that makes you feel hot and powerful and magnetic as hell. Because making it fun isn't a weakness. It is a strategy and it is a darn good one at that. So ask yourself, what kind of training actually lights you up?

Who do I like moving with? Like who do I like training with? I've discussed like training with a partner or training alone. Find a group training session or find a friend that you like to train with or even a partner. It's gonna make you want to train more 'cause you're training with them and it's fun.

Think about what music gets you hyped. Can you change the setting? Can you take it outdoors? If it's such a nice day, can you try a new class? Can you wear something that makes you feel. Good. You're allowed to make this process feel joyful and you're allowed to love it. 'cause we want to be feminine and feel good and romanticize life.

We want all of that. Okay. Fun isn't the opposite of discipline. It is a very good fuel for it because when you love how you feel, when you move, you don't need to push yourself 'cause you're being pulled in that direction anyway. And that's it for today. If this episode hit home for you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it.

Please screenshot tab on Instagram at Jade Palmer because I love seeing when you're listening to this. And also it lets me understand what lands for you. And remember, your best body is your best self, your best mindset, and it all starts when you let go of pressure. Stop overthinking and start trusting yourself again.

Love you all talk soon.